After nine months of trying, waiting, getting pregnant, losing a baby, mourning, trusting, grappling, several depressed days of Downton Abbey binge-watching to avoid the tears that wouldn't seem to stop falling, praying, lots of praying, and then lots of stretches where praying was too hard, sharing our story and letting others pray on our behalf, doctors visits, charting, temping, dog hunting, making peace, and dog adopting, we have some very very happy news.
Our coffee shop tab is officially going up by a cup.
I know, shocking.
Jackson is going to be a big brother, which means two little mouths in the backseat pleading for a soy milk or hot chocolate in the Starbucks drive through. Big brother will show him or her how to work the angles. He's got a solid 50% success rate.
We went for a sonogram yesterday and the baby's heart was a thump thumping, and he or she was doing lots of little dance moves, wiggling and flipping and in general having a happy little swim. We are without maternity insurance until January, but thankfully I knew of a local pregnancy center that occasionally needs sonogram volunteers to help train sonographers and they were in need right around the same time my doctor was going to see me for a sonogram. Instead of paying $500 as a cash client at my doctor, it was free! They also had some new 3d equipment and I think they said I was the first client they had used it on. Amazing! Thank you Thrive Women's Clinic. What a blessing to be served in a way that also, in a tiny way, will serve those precious moms making difficult choices about their life and the life of their baby....a mission close to my heart.
We were about a week further along than we thought, 9 weeks and one day to be exact, with a June 8 due date. Hearing this day was one one of those moments where God gently and lovingly affirmed his steadfast love for me, as if to say, See dear daughter, I had your best interests in mind all along. June 8. That's Jared's last day of school. The last day of school! Giving us every possible summer day together before football starts again in late July, without any of the stress of his work schedule getting in the way.
We sang this song at church on Sunday and I cannot get it out of my head. After all, He is only good. Not for a moment did He forsake me. As I post this happy news, I'm saying a prayer for every mom who's lost a baby, every woman who longs to be a mother or give their child a sibling, or who is making peace with what may never be, for those longing and waiting to be connected with their adopted child, for those who are pregnant and terrified, may these words bring you comfort.
Thank you Whitley of Honey and Fawn for our fantastic announcement pics! We will treasure these forever.